Today

after little to no sleep last night, i am preparing to leave this afternoon.
Mama had an impromtu little party for me last night and that was lovely. So many of my Wednesday night people showed up and it was a beautiful time of eating and laughing.

The TINY VW is packed full of my things. I will try to adjust them a little bit today to try to give myself a little more sight out the back window. I'll be fine if i don't have it, but i would like it.

The trip is planned out. I will leave at 1 today and go to Hollidaysburg to visit the Elkins' family. From there I go to Joshus Groso's house for the evening. Thursday it's off to Natalie at Geneva and in the wee hours of Friday morning I will point the golf west and stop when i hit mid Iowa. Saturday will be the day I finally make it to my future home of Northglenn, Colorado.

here's hoping this plan works beautifully.

a small bit of clarity

I have waited for 3 weeks now to hear the status of Jesse's car.
Yesterday I finally heard what is happening.

The car will be done on Monday night.
a full three weeks (probably more) after I planned on Leaving Pennsylvania.

I have spent these weeks filling my life with more memories. deepening friendships and being with the people i love.
it has been an incredible piece of my journey. and now, i am ready for the next one.

to fill my car with all i own. to point the car west, turn on the ipod, hit the gas and move forward. that is the feeling i have been waiting for.

I have romanticized this trip. maybe too much. maybe this is why the Lord hit pause.

In Between.

I'm stuck in the middle.
I am currently staying at the Swartley's because I needed to get out of my apartment so Clarke can begin the renovations. As I pulled away from my former home it struck me. I am homeless. not in the sense that i do not have a place to stay, but that I have no home. I have no place that is mine. i'm living off other people and living out of backpacks and boxes and my dear old Wallace.

It's odd, though i have felt this before. I have been unsettled. but this just feels so different. because it doesn't have an end on it. I may get out of here next week... but i may not. I could be here til it snows for all i know....

What, Father, is your plan for me?

I am enjoying the time i am spending with my friends. I am enjoying hte lack of a job, though i don't wnat to enjoy it for too long because i know my funds are not limitless and i'd like to get a job before they run out.

So i sit. and think. and decompress these last few years of my life in Pennsylvania. and i wait, with anticipation for the new life I will be building in Colorado in the not so distant future... or the distant one.

Long time travelling...

i am currently sitting in folcroft.
i didn't think i'd be here.
i have spent the last few days packing slower than i'd like.

this time that the Lord has made me take.
this time that i am stuck in pennsylvania.
it is giving me more life than i could have planned.
and this is why the Lord's plans are better than mine.
this is why the Almighty should be my guide.

My current plan is just a bunch of ideas. it's liquid and can change and fit into any mold or path necessary. it can even make a new one if need be. So i'm going with the flow... ugh, that sounds cheesy, but oh well. it's truth.

i'll get to colorado. i'll be there.
but for now... i will love and learn and grow and experience all that pennsylvania has for me.
i am deepening relationships that will not soon end, but will very soon change.
i am happy and at peace. i love it. i love being able to do whatever, whenever without constraints.

if only all of life were this free.

Plans...

It never ceases to amaze me how my plans fail so often.
I can plan and have everything mapped out beautifully, perfectly even, but it falls apart so quickly for reasons i cannot control.

my plan.
tuesday:
Leave the Poconos for dc (delaware county)
hang out with fam. lindsay. mary. anyone i could find.
sleep.
wednesday:
head to warrington.
stop by the EMS
go to the Cains for great fun and much happiness.
sleep.
Thursday:
head to Hollidaysburg for lunch at the Elkins'
drive to Geneva for seeing my natalie :)
sleep.
Friday:
visit Joshua
more time with Nat.
Sleep.
Saturday:
awake early.
drive to somewhere in Iowa.
sleep.
Sunday:
wake up.
drink profuse amounts of coffee
go to Colorado.
finally be there... after all this time.
sleeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

and of course..... all this has gone to crap.
enter Jesses volkswagon to screw me over and leave me hanging.

new plan.

just get out of here before the 12th....... please.